Ahhh....FREAK OUT!

Okay, honestly people, I am FREAKING OUT! About a month ago I started having panic attacks about my leg. I seemed to tone them down for a while, but now they have come back in full surge this week. I know it must be because I'm going to New York City next week to meet with Dr. Healey, and it will have been five months since my last visit, but still.

I'm feeling great, I'm doing great, and I know that because my cancer was low-grade and I had a wide-sweeping excision that recurrence is very unlikely. I keep telling myself this rationally, but it doesn't seem to work on me emotionally and I couldn't fall asleep until three in the morning last night. I've been meditating and doing positive visualization, but the panic still flows. Perhaps it's because I am doing so well and I'm attached to this feeling of strength and health.

I also know it's normal to be worried before check-ups, but these physical waves of fear and anxiety have got to stop!

::Sigh:: I upped my postive counter-attack this morning: smudged with sage, got out all my healing stones, and did a fear-releasing meditation, so we'll see.

I probably just need to give up coffee. ;-)